May 24, 2014
Wishing. Dreaming. Growing. Seeing. Trying. Adapting. Conforming. Comparing. Devaluing. Overanalyzing. Over critiquing. Over doing. Dying.
For me, this seemed to be my story as a photographer within the past few years. I admired beautiful images from afar. I dreamed that maybe one day I would capture the beauty of a wedding. I grew, and found that people actually liked my work. I saw what others were doing, so I thought I’d try and give it a go. I adapted and conformed to the “rules” and the latest trends. I compared my work, and constantly found it wasn’t quite good enough. I devalued my work, critiquing everything that could have been better. I tried a little too hard, and came out spent. And internally, I felt my wishes, my dreams, and everything I had wanted slowly fading away and dying.
But then, I met this group of girls.
Ellie. Emily. Elizabeth.
They are each unique, all different in personalities, but all reaching for the same goal as I am. And for the first time, I had a community. People who got it. People who understood the victories and failures, and the ever growing challenges to let our little voices shine though in a world that feels like it is constantly trying to drown us out.
And then came some of the best advice I could have ever heard,
“Do You, and do it well” Ellie said. “Do it for Jesus, Do it for others, and do it for yourself.”
And then, like a tidal wave, it hit me.
Take away the gimmicks, strip me of my poorly executed replications, tear down the competitive mindset, dissolve the thoughts about the latest trends, destroy the excuses, demolish the ideas that I’m not good enough, and what do I have? Me. Me in my truest, and most raw form. My light that is wavering in the wind, hoping to shine onto just one soul.
I asked myself, “If I never received another penny for a photo shoot ever again, would I still be pursuing this dream?”
And the answer is YES. With my whole heart, everyday.
I want to love people. I want to celebrate who they are. I want to care about their stories, and where they came from. I believe that photography is the God-given tool that I have been given to do it.
While I spent just a short weekend with these other photographers, I learned so much. Within a few short days, I learned about photography, the culling, the blogging, and I even saw the quality of my photos reach a level I had never seen them at before, but most importantly, I learned about life.
I couldn’t believe what great people are behind the images when you finally stop comparing yourself and love the person. Love what they’re about. Love the way they view things. Love the way they get excited about life. Liz, Emily, and Ellie, are each incredible people. Their photography is superb. Their laughs and smiles are worth millions. And finally, their hearts for Jesus shine to the Heavens.
That weekend is probably something that will always affect the way I approach my business, my photography, and who I am as a photographer. Being me, and being happy to tell stories the way I believe they should be told.
And so, my story doesn’t end with my dreams dying. Oh no, it’s just the very beginning.
Wishing. Dreaming. Growing. Seeing. Trying. Adapting. Conforming. Comparing. Devaluing. Overanalyzing. Over critiquing. Over doing. Dying. Revitalizing, Redoing, Revamping, Living.
The following photos ( and there are several of them) are from that incredible weekend at Ellie’s “Long And Short Of It” workshop.
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